What contributes Satisfaction in Marriage and Family Life?

What contributes Satisfaction in Marriage and Family Life?

Whatcontributes Satisfaction in Marriage and Family Life?




Whatcontributes Satisfaction in Marriage and Family Life?

Basedon the course work I have covered in marriage and Christian vacation,I am convinced that marriage is part of the most &quotintense&quothuman relationships. However, the stability of marriage relationshipsare defined by the spouses, and it is very important to share theirexperience of family life. Additionally, to some point, theuniversality of family life and marriage does not show that everyperson in society is willing to get married this leads to vocationaltraining in the church. However, in most cases, most of the people ina family or society get married this happens at least once in theirentire lifetime (PaulII, 2002).Consequently, the two institutions of marriage and family life areseen as a biological foundation through which family values arebuilt. In addition, it is evident that marriage, church vacations,and family life have an adequate history that is unique and differentfrom the other. For example, most f the scholars believe thatmarriage is a “universal” and social institution that is foundedon love. According to Zabriskie&amp McCormick (2003),marriage is an institution that is established by human beings toregulate and control sex life between male and female. For thisreason, marriage is used to mean an economic and sexual union betweena man and a woman that is approved by the society. It is, therefore,easy to conclude that marriage is an institution that is a legalunion between a man and a woman. According to the Christians`teachings, every person, who is not willing to live a celibacy life,is free to marry. Consequently, every person who is at marriageableage, he or she enters into spouse search and demand framework eitherconsciously or subconsciously (Moxnes,1997)here, the male or the female makes selection, and comparison beforethe marriage is done.

Consequently,this paper is a review of the knowledge I have gained about marriageand family life and the issues that contribute to stability andsatisfaction to the spouses. The endeavor of the paper is to examinethe extent to which the knowledge about marriage and family life cancontribute to satisfaction. Additionally, the paper will use achronological pattern that is based on the critical and empiricalreviews from the objectives of course learned. Based on the coursestudies, I feel there is a huge research gap that exists in the areaof marriage pattern and family life, sexuality in marriage, andsatisfaction achieved in marriage. Consequently, based on thisrationale, the paper will take the institution of marriage and familylife as the main study phenomenon that has significant influence whenthe issue of “satisfaction” is discussed in a marriage or in afamily life. To monitor the satisfaction level in marriages, it isimportant to know the factors that contribute to it. For example,according to an interesting survey that was carried out by Heller,Watson, &amp Ilies (2004),it is evident that issues such as anti-Christian cultures, absent offather figure, adequate finances, lack of communication, lack ofdiscipline, high level of divorce, materialism, negative influencefrom the media, and busyness are the main factors that areinfluencing satisfactory in marriage and family life. Additionally,in today’s world, most of the spouses are not able to balancebetween work and family life thus experiencing a negative experiencein the sexual life and communication. For this reason, it isparamount to help spouses in a marriage to embrace a balance betweenfamily life and work.

Whatare the intentions of Christian-based Marriage and family life?

Amarriage that is based on the Christian basis is the one that takesplace between a man and a woman who are believers and with a sincereheart to serve God as a couple. However, a man and a woman can marryand fail to serve God together as a spouse. The intention of theChristian based marriage is to ensure that the couple marries notonly to achieve sexual satisfaction but also to glorify God. This isbecause, according to the Christian`s teachings, marriage is a sacredunion, and those who enter into it should not enter it impulsively.Silverstein&amp Giarrusso (2010) affirmthat every woman or a man should carefully consider marriage life andbefore marriage they should be engaged for at least one year this isaccording to the Hebrews traditions that took place before vows wereexchanged. As a result, the church intends to nurture a loving coupleand help them not to rush into marriage institution because marriageis sacred. For example, the book of Mathew 5:32 Jesus affirmed that aman and a woman who are married should remain in marriage unless acase of adultery is reported. Consequently, the reason for a man andwoman taking marriage vows before God is to ensure that they willremain united in love until death separates them. Jesus went ahead toassert a man and a woman who are united in marriage are one person.Jesus concluded his teaching by affirming that what God has puttogether no man should put asunder. As a result, most of the churchesdo not allow man and woman who are married to divorce however,during the time of Moses in the Old Testament he encouraged a man todivorce his woman when faced with “hardness of heart.” However,according to a survey that was carried by Heller,Watson, &amp Ilies, (2004),the results asserted that most of the married people including theChristians get married with wrong reasons and bases. The resultsindicated that 70 percent of the couples in the study married becauseof sex, 60% of the participants confirmed that they married becauseof security, 55% because of fame and wealth, and 42% because of earlypregnancies thus wanted to escape their parents. On the other hand,some spouses said they married because they were mistaken and thoughtthat they loved the other person. But according to the church’steaching every man or woman is supposed to marry so that they canglorify God through their marriage and family life. The following isa bar graph to show the reasons for people entering into married andfamily life:

Additionally,the churches encourage the couple to consider various factors thatwill help them glorify God as compared to two people who are single.Consequently, the couples are supposed to make the requireddetermination through the assistance of the church deacons or pastorsbefore making the decision of committing themselves in the marriagelife (Silverstein&amp Giarrusso, 2010).As a result, two people can get married only after understanding thatthey cannot divorce after making the marriage vows this is becauseof issues such as lust or security reasons things can go bad if theexpectations of one party are not met (Heller,Watson, &amp Ilies, 2004).Moreover, the word of God in the book of Proverbs 21:9, 19 affirmsthat a bad marriage can be intolerable. As a result, every man and awoman should understand the biblical teachings about marriage and geta reason why they what to be married as seen below:

Forexample, every woman must know that the man is the head of the familyas stated in Genesis 3:16 Peter 3:6, and 1 Corinthians 11:3 thiswill help in avoiding conflicts that results to the notion of 50-50proposition between the man and the woman as proposed by couples ofthese days.

Lastly,the church teachings state that the woman should submit to his man inall things from his body to the rest. The church teaches the marriedcouples on how to have a life that is joyful, gland, and respectfulwhile enjoying each other through sexual acts, sharing their materialpossession, and expressing their gentle behavior through the guidanceof the holy spirit. To achieve a satisfactory life both the man andwoman are expected to fulfill their duties as stated in Corinthians7:3. Additionally, just as Sarah loved his husband Moses and calledhim Master or Lord, a woman in the contemporary church basis shouldbe willing to respect and call her husband master. However, this isnot practical since the feminist movement was started in the 19thcentury and wives stopped referring to their husbands as Master orLord (PaulII, 1993).However, for a marriage to remain lovely and fulfilling, it isimportant for both the man and the wife to remain loving andrespectfully and adoring to each other a man should, therefore, showlove to his wife at all cost.

Factorsthat can lead to failure in Marriage and Family Life

Asmentioned before, various factors such as lack of effectivecommunication, anti-Christian cultures, and financial constraints canresult in marriage failure. However, it is important to know what itmeans for anti-Christian culture. Moreover, people in marriages areblaming failure in the marriages on negative media influences,surrounding cultures such as marrying multiple wives and other formsof sexual like lesbianism, homosexuality, and sex practices withanimals. However, I tend to affirm that people blame marriage failureon the factors that can be controlled. For example, is it the faultof the media if the marriages are failing or is it the coupleinvolved? Secondly, the issue of divorce is so rampant today.However, divorce is an indication that there are so many deeperproblems facing the marriages that couples cannot bear (PaulII, 1993)the reasons for divorce are the factors to address the main cause ofmarriage problems.

Secondly,it is true that our marriages are falling apart because we are toobusy in out places of work? The answers if a big Yes because most thecouples are not striking a balance between the busy work schedule andissues affecting the marriage or family life. However, the issue ofwork and family issues balance is very confusing, especially whendealing with surface matters affecting the marriage. This is becausewith working hard in the workplace the family will be faced withfinancial constraints that may also result in conflicts in themarriage (PaulII, 1981).Thirdly, the Christians’ teachings say that every Christian shouldimprove their communication patterns in their marriage. Lack ofcommunication in a marriage is the source of many marital relatedproblems such as divorce and committing adultery. Non-Christiancounselors are also in the front line to encourage the couple to uptheir communication strategies in their marriages. Here, every coupleis not different when it comes to effective communication to avoidmarriage failure.

Lackof discipline is also a factor that contributes to marriage failure.In most cases, the issue of lack of disciple goes hand in hand withlack of father figure in the marriage institution. Lack of disciplein marriage results to marriage problems mostly, the problems arebased on other issues such as uncontrolled man, woman, or children,financial problems, and lack of self-control. According to PaulII (2002),the cause of bad manners in a marriage lies from other remedies thatstart at a deeper point in the marriage. For example, a woman may beindiscipline because of mistreatment from the husband, rude husband,or a husband who is not proving for the family needs. This aspect issimilar to the issue of materialism which is a bigger problem in themarriages today however, these factors can be rated as symptomaticof very deep issues ruining the marriages.

PaulII (1993)tried to give an answer to today`s marriage failure despite theChristian guidance of marriage and family life. Additionally, sincethe above factors causing marriage failure are said to be symptomaticof deeper problems experienced in marriages, I am convinced thatpeople lack adequate biblical teachings on family life and marriagethus the massive separations and divorces among the Christians. As aresult, spirituality might be the main source of family crisis anddivorce because of varying biblical foundations people are havingvarying beliefs, cultural, and scriptural teachings about marriage,sex, and family life the issue of sex is killing most of themarriages especially due to the impact of social media where couplecan access pornography materials and want to practice what they see(PaulII, 2002).However, I can plot that lack of good intentions is not the rootcause of failure in marriages. Additionally, there are so manyChristian sources that guide on marriage and family life. However, Itend to think that, in Christian marriage, there is lack of rightresources that recognize marriage and family life as the main heartof pure and divine institution this should be taken as the immensetarget of the spiritual warfare among the married Christians (PaulII, 1981).

Forthis reasons, every marriage should be based on good intentions toensure that both man and woman are satisfied. Moreover, the couplesshould be taught about God`s plan and intentions about marriage andfamily life. Additionally, married Christians should be committed intheir marriage life and live according to the biblical teaching onmarriage. Lastly, they should express their discipleship and witnessGod’s glory in their marriage. Finally, from the above factorsinfluencing satisfaction on marriages, there is a need for both menand women who are Christians to rediscover the Bible teachings aboutmarriage and family life (PaulII, 1993)this should be based on their spiritual level and their commitment toliving as per the biblical teachings. Consequently, it is crucial tohighlight the root causes of marital problems. When the root cause ofthe marital problems is addressed then, it would be easy to addressother issues that are related to marriage and family life problemsthat can lead to divorce.

CulturalCrisis in Marriage and family life

Unimaginableas it may appear, we can no more accept that individuals in ourculture comprehend what the best possible meaning of &quotmarriage&quotand &quotthe family&quot is. Not just is this a tragic critique onthe effect of same-sex marriage activists on our general public, itlikewise indicates how the culture`s memory of the scripturalconvention on which it is to a great extent based is blurring quick.What is marriage, scripturally characterized? What`s more, what isthe scriptural meaning of a crew? In this brief treatise on marriageand the family, we will take up these inquiries and continue toexamine various related matters, for example, singleness, separation,and remarriage, and homosexuality, with an end goal, to add to afull-orbed comprehension of the scriptural instructing on thesubject. As I have looked to show at some length in my book God,Marriage, and the Family: Rebuilding the Biblical foundation,marriage, and the family life are establishments under attack today,and just an arrival to the scriptural establishment of theseGod-given organizations will switch the decay of marriage and thefamily in our culture today (PaulII, 2002).

Whatmakes a Family complete in Christian marriage concepts?

Theword of God characterizes &quotfamily&quot in a thin sense as theunion of one man and one female who engage in a marriage that isregularly honored with one or a few characteristic or embraced kids.In a wide sense, this family likewise incorporates whatever otherpersons related by blood (the most distant family). In the book ofGenesis, we read that God at the outset made initial a man (Adam) topractice domain over his creation and hence a lady (Eve) as the man`s&quotsuitable assistant&quot as stated in the book of Genesis. Atthat point, the enlivened author comments, &quothence a man mightleave his dad and his mom and hold quickly to his wife, and theyshould turn into one body&quot as stated in the book of Genesis2:24. This verse puts forward the scriptural example as it wasinitiated by God toward the starting: one man is united to one womanin marriage, and the two form one new person especially after theirfirst intercourse. In such manner, Therborn(2004)alludes to the foundation of one new family additionally to thespouse and wife`s sexual union prompting the multiplication ofposterity. This, thusly, is with regards to God`s unique order to thefirst human couple to &quotbe productive and reproduce and fill theearth and quell it and have control” over all of creation. This wasstated by God in the book of Genesis after his work of creation.

Consequently,marriage is part of Christian`s teaching that is used to complementand make male and female complete. Marriage is basic parts of maleand female relations in which the two engage in sexual act toreplicate mankind it is a piece of the first request of creation andare obvious to every individual from the persisting request ofnature. These normal components of marriage are at the heart of ourcommon laws characterizing and managing marriage. Consequently,individuals of all cultures and religions, including the individualswho need confidence in God, the Bible, or Christ, are fit for takingpart in the foundation of marriage (Roberts,1996).On the other hand, we who are Christians trust that the fullestcomprehension of God`s will for marriage can be gotten from acautious examination of scriptural teachings. It is occupant upon thecongregation to instruct both itself and the bigger culture withrespect to the full broadness and profundity of God`s expectationsfor marriage. Meeting the will of God and standards set by thechurch’s teachings about marriage make the marriage complete.

Shouldmarriage and family be a Contract or a Covenant?

Hetherington(2002) affirm that intoday’s world, marriage and the family are routinely seen as socialtraditions that can be entered into and disjoined by the conjugalpartners at their free will. The length of a given marriagerelationship addresses the issues of both people included and isviewed to be favorable by both sides by monitoring the marriagemerits and challenges faced. However, in case one or both partnersconclude that they will be in an ideal situation by separating themarriage and going into another, the issue of “purity” in sexualunion is missed in contracted marriages there is nothing that cantruly keep them from seeking after their self-interest,self-acknowledgment, and self-satisfaction. Certainly, it isdifficult to discuss the expense of separation and the toll appliedto the children that were born during the contract period. However,in non-Christian marriages such a toll is thought to be worth payingwith a specific end goal to defend the most appreciated standards ofthe autonomous-minded, flexibility worshiping, and individualrights-commending society. Lastly, in case one or both marriagepartners need to call off the marriage contract, nothing ought tokeep them down, or else the way of life`s incomparable qualities,singular decision and libertarian opportunity are not guaranteed incontracted marriages (Rollins&amp Cannon, 2006).

Onthe other hand, the Bible makes it clear that, at the root, marriageand the family is not human traditions that can be used as aconstruct marriage simply requires respect, mutual agreement andtime-regarded convention for it to qualify as Christian-basedmarriage. Rather, the Scripture affirms that family was God`sthought, and that marriage is a heavenly, not simply human,foundation. The ramifications of this truth is huge in fact, for thisimplies that people are not allowed to renegotiate or rethinkmarriage and the family in any capacity the married Christians aresupposed to safeguard their marriage and work towards itsappreciation by embracing values such as love, joy, happiness,sharing of material possession, and many others this shows a familythat is perfectly established on Christian morals. This is withregards to Jesus` words that were articulated when his peers got someinformation about the possibility of separation: &quotWhatsubsequently God has joined together let not man separate&quot(Matthew 19:6). Hence, marriage is much more than a human socialcontract it is a perfectly an initiated covenant (Silverstein&amp Giarrusso, 2010).

Inany case, we need to know the difference between a covenant and acontract. What is a &quotcovenant&quot? Basically, a covenant is anagreement between two people that is set up before God as a witness. Moreover, a covenant is something that is changelessness and is moreso shielded by none other than God himself. In this sense, marriageis a covenant: it is entered by the husband of male and female beforeGod as a witness. Since it is God who has joined the marriagepartners together, the husband and the wife pledge to one anothertolerating steadfastness and constancy &quottill death do us part&quotin their life (Silverstein&amp Giarrusso, 2010).They gain the right to enjoy sex and help God in procreation.Consequently, in this manner, a marriage joined before God includesthree persons: a husband, a wife, and God this is based onChristians’ teachings. Thus, Christian’s marriages are not basedon self-interest, human point of preference, or a liberated duty tothe individual flexibility that represents the marriage relationship.In a marriage covenant, the husband and wife join their body andsoul, responsibilities, and energy towards directing their marriageto glorify God and his sovereign nature.

Basedon the Christian theories, marriages that are based on Christianityare not just “social institutions” that can be used to portrayremedies for human weakness. According to Gillis(1997),marriage is supernatural calling, a sacrament, and a decision madefrom one`s heart. As started in the Catholic doctrines every marriageis guided by Christ himself and the Church. For these reasons, everymarriage should be a permanent covenant and not a contract between awilling man and female. Consequently, the sacrament of marriage oralso referred to as sacrament of matrimony was stated by Christhimself, and it cannot be dissolved by non-believers.

Itis a permanent contract that sanctifies in cooperation with JesusChrist. He fills the souls of husband and wife and invites them tofollow him. He transforms their whole married life into an occasionfor God`s presence on earth. As a result, every man and women who arewilling to stay together as a married couple should sanctify themarriage and purify themselves before God as the witness. This isbecause it is a mistake for a man or a woman to exclude family lifeor vocational training. According to the biblical teachings it eitherone is in marriage and family life or in vocational life or celibacy.


Inconclusion, marriage is a union that is very important in one’slife because it is through it that children are brought fourth.Additionally, it is through marriage and families that children aretaken care and educated the Christian morals and values.Consequently, every family member has the duty of providing for theneeds of the entire family, give security, enhance goodrelationships, and ensure satisfaction in the meet. Moreover, coupleswho are Christians are called to sanctify the ordinary situationsthat surround their marriage such as the community and societalvalues.

Thejoy and happiness in a marriage can be achieved through exercisingthe virtues and Christian values that are based on faith and hope.Additionally, it is paramount to consider exercising faith and hope,face the marriage serenity and solve small problems that areconfronting the marriage or family at large. Secondly, it isimportant to persevere in the marriage because of love and enthusiasminstead of entering into a contract marriage where the partnerscannot fulfill their duties well. Moreover, marriage couples areexpected to practice values such as charity, sharing their wealthwith the needy and taking part in religious growth both numericallyand physically for the glory of God. Additionally, a couple can learnhow to smile despite the challenges around them and remain focused onhow they can help those who need their attention. Consequently, a manand a woman who are married should give a good example both to theirchildren and the society. For example, a husband and a wife aresupposed to listen to their children, guide them, and give themadvice where necessary to show them that they love and care for them.For these reasons, the children will forget about the littlecommotion that occurs that might magnify itself out of proportion.Additionally, through love, joy, and happiness that comes throughrespect and mutual care, a husband and a wife who are married througha Christian way should make up their life and that of their childrenevery day (Silverstein &amp Giarrusso, 2010).

Lastly,the main focus of married people who marry through the Christian’steachings is to sanctify the family life the marriage should startwith God’s blessings to create a stable and a true familyenvironment where a man and a woman can share all their possessionsincluding intercourse. Consequently, marriage should be based on theChristian values that are necessary to purify their marriage each andevery day before death puts them asunder. For this reason, a marriedcouple should embrace theological virtues followed by all the valuessuch as loyalty, prudence, humility, cheerfulness, sincerity, andindustriousness. These led us to a conclusion that before talkingabout marriage and marriage life, then, we should first speak aboutthe mutual love that exist between a man and a woman intending tomarry and enter into a family life.


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